eLert Gadget
GOT SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO SAY? ...
Your Hotline to Readers' Desktops
SUNDAY IS QUIT PICKING YOUR NOSE DAY Published: 22/06/12
Vote Positive Positive ( 0 ) Vote Negative Negative ( 0 ) Question
TORONTO. (CAP) - Following the questionable success of the recent Quit Facebook Day comes word that the duo responsible for raising awareness of online privacy issues is now looking to tackle other social injustices as well. As such, they've declared this Sunday to be Quit Picking Your Nose Day and are asking nose pickers around the world to pledge to quit. "It kills me when I'm trying to stick my gum under my seat on the subway and there are boogers everywhere," said QPYN Day cofounder Joseph Dee. "I know I can't be the only one, and it's high time we did something about it." Dee and partner Matthew Milan have created a website for their cause, and with over 4,000 people already vowing to stop digging for gold Sunday, the walls of men's public restrooms everywhere could be considerably cleaner come next week. Pundits say Dee and Milan are capitalizing on an anti-nose picking movement that has been gaining steam for some time. "With the advent of institutions like Boogerless Home Equity, we're seeing a trend toward more accountability for what people stick up their noses," said CAP News historian Ivan Pullman. "This movement harkens back to the successful Quit Eating Paste Day that swept through American's elementary schools back in 1983." Pullman said that with the escalating costs of entertainment, people are picking their noses more than ever these days, but it is no more socially acceptable now than it was when it was less popular. But some like Austrian lung specialist Dr. Friedrich Bischinger claim that nose picking combined with nasal mucus eating is actually beneficial for the immune system. "Think about it. We get germs from contact with other people," explained Bischinger. "When you pick and eat, nobody will be coming near you. Therefore, the germs are staying away as well. I haven't been sick in years. "Oh, excuse me, I just need to - wait ... got it. Can you hand me that tissue, please?" QPYN Day supporters say if they can get just one person to stop swiping and wiping, then the day will be a success. However, they hope that despite transgressions caught on camera, celebrities like Jennifer Lopez and Mischa Barton will come out in support of the effort to lend credibility and raise awareness. "You know, back in Massachusetts there was nothing to do, so that's all we did," actor Ben Affleck told CAP News when we called to speak with Lopez. "But here in California where everyone has a nosejob, nobody dares to pick because they're afraid they'll break their nose right off their face. "Anyway, Jen can't come to the phone right now," Affleck added. "She's, uhh ... in the potty." While most appear to be in favor of the day, or at the least ambivilant about it, there are a few outspoken critics who condemn what Dee and Milan are attempting to accomplish. Among those is the National Nosepicker Support Alliance, whose mission statement includes curing compulsive nosepickers "one knuckle at a time." "Quitting is a 12-step process - maybe up to 15 if they pick and flick," said NNSA president Charlene Villaneuve. "You don't just wake up in the morning and say, Hey, I'm going to quit picking today. It doesn't work that way." Depending on the success of QPYN Day, Dee and Milan are reportedly already scheduling a "Are You Going To The Movies? Then Why Are You Picking Your Seat?" Day for next month.

Read More

 

CAP NEWS TICKER - 12/1/2012 Published: 01/12/12
Joe Biden stopped by the opening of a new Costco today and totally cleaned the store out of all their food samples. "It's not like *I* got invited to have lunch with Obama," he said, telling patrons that's how Americans will have to eat if middle-class tax cuts are repealed.President Obama will host Mitt Romney for lunch tomorrow after the Secret Service picked up the former presidential nominee p...

Comments (0)    Read More
  • Vote Positive Positive (0)
  • Vote Negative Negative (0)
  • Question
Gadget Name: CAP News
UNFORTUNATE TYPO LEADS TO MUCH UNEXPECTED NUDITY Published: 30/11/12
CHEVY CHASE (CAP) - A typo in the Baltimore Sun led to hundreds of nudists showing up for the Audubon Naturalist Society's annual meeting and bird-watching contest last weekend. The listing, which was supposed to be titled Calling All Naturalists, was input as Calling All Naturists. As a result, Audubon members - mostly suburban housewives in their 60s and 70s - found themselves surrounded almos...

Comments (0)    Read More
  • Vote Positive Positive (0)
  • Vote Negative Negative (0)
  • Question
Gadget Name: CAP News
FRUIT CART ASSOC. PROTESTS LATEST JAMES BOND MOVIE Published: 29/11/12
MARRAKESH (CAP) - The International Guild of Fruit Cart Owners (IGFCO), the world's largest association of fruit cart proprietors, has launched an official protest against the new James Bond movie Skyfall, noting that its opening sequence alone features at least a half dozen fruit carts crushed by large, fast-moving vehicles. "It was the straw that broke the camel's back," said guild spokesman Ab...

Comments (0)    Read More
  • Vote Positive Positive (0)
  • Vote Negative Negative (0)
  • Question
Gadget Name: CAP News
GOVERNMENT DROWNS GROVER NORQUIST IN BATHTUB Published: 28/11/12
WASHINGTON (CAP) - The U.S. Federal Government was arrested and charged with manslaughter after the body of conservative lobbyist Grover Norquist was found this week at his home in Washington, D.C. Police on the scene confirmed that Norquist had in fact been drowned in his own bathtub and that foul play was suspected. Investigators say the Federal Government was the last known entity to have see...

Comments (0)    Read More
  • Vote Positive Positive (0)
  • Vote Negative Negative (0)
  • Question
Gadget Name: CAP News
LITTLE DEBBIE ARRESTED AFTER WEEK-LONG SNACK BENDER Published: 27/11/12
CHATTANOOGA (CAP) - "Little Debbie" McKee, whose Zebra Cakes and Cosmic Brownies have long taken a back seat to Twinkies and Ring Dings, was arrested just outside Chattanooga yesterday after a reported wild bacchanal celebrating the downfall of Hostess Brands Inc. "Who's moist and spongy NOW?" Debbie reportedly screamed repeatedly as police carted her off with her white straw hat hanging askew fr...

Comments (0)    Read More
  • Vote Positive Positive (0)
  • Vote Negative Negative (0)
  • Question
Gadget Name: CAP News
PATS' GRONKOWSKI RECEIVES BIONIC FOREARM IMPLANT Published: 26/11/12
BOSTON (CAP) - New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski has become the NFL's first bionic player following an experimental surgical procedure after breaking his left arm during a game against the Indianapolis Colts. Doctors say the arm now has the equivalent strength of a bulldozer. "Gentlemen, doctors told me they could rebuild him because they have the technology," coach Bill Belichick sa...

Comments (0)    Read More
  • Vote Positive Positive (0)
  • Vote Negative Negative (0)
  • Question
Gadget Name: CAP News
[AUDIO] PUFFY PAPER ULTRA SOFT Published: 25/11/12
Whether you're wiping or blowing or killing a spider that's scampering across the bathroom vanity, use the one toilet paper that's gentle no matter the surface....

Comments (0)    Read More
  • Vote Positive Positive (0)
  • Vote Negative Negative (0)
  • Question
Gadget Name: CAP News
PRESIDENT OBAMA, FAMILY CELEBRATE BLACK FRIDAY Published: 23/11/12
WASHINGTON (CAP) - President Barack Obama and his family celebrated the their first Black Friday holiday today as second-term residents of the White House. The foursome kept the day fairly low-key, staying home to watch a movie together and then taking in dinner at B Smith's at Union Station. "Today is a very special day for my people," Obama told reporters as he dined on grilled lamb chops with ...

Comments (0)    Read More
  • Vote Positive Positive (0)
  • Vote Negative Negative (0)
  • Question
Gadget Name: CAP News
MICHELLE OBAMA BOOED AT THANKSGIVING DINNER Published: 22/11/12
WASHINGTON (CAP) - Michelle Obama's week went from bad to worse as the First Lady found herself the subject of a round of booing while she served Thanksgiving dinner at the White House today. Eyewitness reports had difficulty identifying the origination of the booing, which by many accounts appeared to be scattered throughout the dining room. "Secret Service agents believed they had pinpointed th...

Comments (0)    Read More
  • Vote Positive Positive (0)
  • Vote Negative Negative (0)
  • Question
Gadget Name: CAP News
ISRAEL, PALESTINE TO DUKE IT OUT ON CUPCAKE WARS Published: 21/11/12
TEL AVIV (CAP) - As calls for a ceasefire between Israel and Gaza intensify, United Nations officials report that both sides have agreed to send two of their best bakers to New York to compete in an upcoming episode of the Food Network's Cupcake Wars. The winning team will not only get the coveted $10,000 prize but will also have their cupcakes showcased at the LUPUS Foundation Of America's annua...

Comments (0)    Read More
  • Vote Positive Positive (0)
  • Vote Negative Negative (0)
  • Question
Gadget Name: CAP News
To leave your comments/rating please login
  • eLert Gadget Account Holders:
  • Not A Member Register Here:
Your E-mail ID: Your E-mail ID:
Your Name:
Please enter the letters that you see on the above image.

 

There are no comments for this elert. Be the first to comment.