FLIRTING AND BODY LANGUAGE
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A number of subconscious triggers play a major role in the dating game governing how we see each other. How can you recognise how to interpret body language - both your own and others? Learning to read others body language and their reaction to you works wonders. It really works!!
Do you know most experts agree it takes us between 90 seconds and four minutes to decide if we fancy someone. You may like to think it's your wit and repartee which gives the sparkling first impression. It's not. Look at this.
Fifty-five per cent of the impression we get from someone comes through our body language
Thirty-eight per cent is from the tone, speed and inflection of our voice and a mere seven per cent is from what we're actually saying!
Before you've even spoken to the person you've got your eye on, the way you've walked and stood is more than 80 per cent of their first impression of you!
We make snap judgements based on instinct but the fact is, almost every facet of our personality is evident from our appearance, posture and the way we move.
So, how do we tell if our body is sending the right signals - and (more importantly) how to read theirs? Let your body do the talking (and the flirting) by learning to recognise and look into their eyes. They tell more about us than anything.
The five secret sexual signals that someone is flirting with you
The flirting triangle. When we look at people we're not familiar with our eyes make a zig-zag motion: we look from eye to eye and across the bridge of the nose. With friends, the look drops below eye level and moves into a triangle shape: we look from eye to eye but also look down to include the nose and mouth.
Once we start flirting, the triangle gets even bigger - it widens at the bottom to include their good bits (like the body). The more intense the flirting, the more intensely we'll look from eye to eye - and the more time we'll spend looking at their mouth.
If someone is watching your mouth while you're talking to them, it can be very, very seductive. It could be that they're imagining what it would be like to kiss you.
Mirroring. This is what separates a good flirt from a great flirt: nothing will bond you more effectively than mirroring someone's behaviour. This simply means you do whatever it is they do. If they lean forward to tell you something intimate, you lean in to meet them. If they sit back to take a sip of their drink and look you in the eye, you pause then follow suit. The theory behind mirroring is that we like people who are like us. If someone is doing what we're doing, we feel they're on the same level as us and in the same mood as we are.
There are two no-go areas with this one, though: firstly, only mirror positive body language; second, capture the spirit rather than mimicking them. As a general rule, wait around 50 seconds before following their gestures.
The eyebrow flash. When we first see someone we're attracted to, our eyebrows rise and fall. If they are similarly attracted, they raise their eyebrows in return. Never noticed? It's not surprising since the whole thing lasts only about a fifth of a second! We're not consciously aware of doing it, but it's a gesture that is duplicated by every culture on Earth.
Pointing. Sneak a peek at what their feet and hands are doing - we tend to point toward the person we're interested in. If we find someone attractive, we'll often point at them subconsciously with our hands arms, feet, legs, toes.
Blinking. If someone likes what they see, their pupil size increases and so does their blink rate. If you want to up the odds in your favour, try increasing the blink rate of the person you're talking to, by blinking more yourself. If the person likes you, they'll unconsciously try to match your blink rate to keep in sync with you, which in turn, makes you both feel more attracted to each other!
The golden rule of body language
Don't judge on one thing alone. Sitting with your arms crossed is often perceived as a defensive, stand-off posture but it might also mean you're freezing cold, you're having a fat day or just spilt coffee all over your top!
Don't jump to conclusions. Look for clusters of behaviour. If someone has their arms crossed and their lips are pursed disapprovingly, it's a fairly safe bet they are on the defensive. Most body language experts favour the Rule of Four, which means look for at least four signals suggesting the same thing before totally believing it.
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