Publisher: Mike Pilinski
Gadget Name: Pick Up Artist\'s Tips and Dating Strategies
About This Gadget:
|READER Q AND A - VACATIONS AND SELF-HATRED||Published: 30/06/09|
|Positive ( 1 ) Negative ( 0 )|
This is a question and answer exchange that I just had with one of my readers. It began as a question about traveling alone and turned into a screed on the topic of self-hatred, which I have come to believe over the years to be a much bigger issue with guys seeking solutions for things like shyness and social dysfunction than many of us realize. To wit:
I've had some stuff twirling around in my head lately that I wanted to bounce off of you, having recently just turned 40. I'm single again, having just broke up with my girlfriend (my decision). Not easy to do as she was a great girl, but I just seem to get bored in relationships like you. Also like you, I got a late start in life on bedding women. Anyway. my question is a lifestyle type query.
I'm interested in your take on how a single guy should go about traveling and vacationing on his own.
This is becoming a real dilemma for me, being single at my age. Not a lot of unmarried, single friends left to hang around with anymore. Last year I went by myself to the Dominican Republic -- not to a resort but to a town where all the girls are "pros" if you know what I mean. It was amazing what an ego boost it was... you'd of thunk that I was Brad Pitt or something! LOL...
Don't get me wrong, I realize that I'm only desirable in that type of situation because I'm perceived as having some sort of relative wealth -- a form of being an HSM I suppose. However, I seem to have a little bit of an issue with feeling like a loser doing this sort of thing... like a guy who can't get an ordinary American woman and so ultimately has to pay for it. I know that some guys swear by this lifestyle and insist that some of these foreign women are much more sensuous and feminine than their spoiled American counterparts. I don't know...
Are these guys on to something, or are we all just acting like misogynistic LSM's who can't score American chicks?
I've thought about learning Spanish and maybe moving to Buenos Aires. Those Argentine women are hot! Sounds adventurous I know, but I guess when I get to the bottom of it, I wonder if this isn't me just running away from my problems of low status and my inability to score lots of women here in the good ole U.S. of A?
Do you think I should I stick it out and try to achieve what ever status I can here at home, or is it okay to try and be a bigger fish in a smaller pond? I'd love to hear your take on this idea, I know it's not your specialty per se but I do value your perspective. Thanks again for your time!
Good to hear from you again. About 3 years ago I went to Las Vegas for 5 days by myself and I didn't find that NOT having a companion with me was any sort of big detriment -- except maybe for going to certain sit-down type of restaurants where you might feel odd dining alone. You know how it is, certain activities you can do by yourself and others are "couple" things that will make you feel uncomfortable. That's your only practical restriction really, and there are plenty of fast food joints where you can dine alone with a newspaper. Other than that I was fine seeing the sights, gambling, etc... all by myself.
This is the EXACT sort of attitude shift that you too will need to achieve in order to ultimately address your own internal doubts about this issue.
Well I've found this network of rules to actually be a form of very subtle and sly self-hatred. Don't ask me why we do this to ourselves -- but the sooner you can recognize and chuck all this crap from your head the sooner you will become free to just let go and follow your heart wherever it may want to take you. And that's the real goal that you want to always be pursuing relentless in life, the goal of mental freedom.
...Special tough rules define the special "tough" guy.
For a moment, just consider that entire galaxy of nasty internal rules that hold you back -- would you ever force them upon someone else? Someone you loved, like a son perhaps? No way! See how with others we feel free to express our compassion? But don't go looking for any such free passes inside your own head for yourself. Cheater!
Logic is king, emotions are irrelevant (only superhuman rules apply to me, remember), and bending logic to assuage emotions is a crime against nature. Only overgrown babies (SUB-human's) run around expressing their faith you see, because they aren't strong enough mentally (like super me!) to face the scary facts of random existence and postmortem non-existence without anything to comfort them. It doesn't matter how you feel (emotions are irrelevant), you are a prisoner of the facts of the Universe as they reveal themselves, and trying to escape them via delusional thinking is weakness and therefore pathetic. Cheating!
No one will ever ask how you got there or judge whether or not you "cheated" by failing to take the hardest road possible. Are you gonna get a medal for remaining true to your self hated? Where do they hand those baby's out? (I would look like one of those old Soviet generals if they did ;-)
And man, this is the best wisdom that I can ever pass along to you. Take care buddy.
Mike Pilinski is the author of 2 great (and by now even somewhat classic) e-books in the Men's Dating Market... his highly-acclaimed original, "Without Embarrassment: The Social Coward's Totally Fearless Seduction System" and "She's Yours For The Taking: A Man's Guide to the Seduction and Sexual Enchantment of Women". Each of these 250+ page books, newly upgraded and revised for 2009, are a masterful education for all guys in the fine art of meeting, dating and seducing women.
You'll love Mike's down-to-earth, humorous "no-punches-pulled"-style and his entertaining delivery. You'll laugh, pound the wall and LEARN all at the same time. But most of all you'll experience an enlightening personal journey into the light of social freedom that you won't soon forget. This unusual "re-mindsetting" will have you making up for time wasted in shy-guy hell almost from the very first moment that you test it out for yourself.
You will learn how to defeat the deadly toxic shame that lies at the heart of all rejection sensitivity -- finally breaking the destructive cycle of rejection--self-castigation, over-thinking and other self-defeating behaviors that have been holding you back socially.
And now Mike's books are now packaged along with his two 90 minute and 150 minute, multi-media MP3 audio programs: 'Dealing With Your Fear of Rejection', and 'Having Kickass Confidence Around Women in Only 18 Days'... BOTH included now as no extra charge bonuses.
That's over 500 pages of written material and 4 hours of easy listening, fun instruction. You should get college credits for this thing! Check HighStausMale.com for the latest details. And don't forget to take a look at some of the loads of free articles that Mike's posted up on the website.
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