A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China.

After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa.

"Oh, no I don't.

I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!"

A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?"

I said, "No, why do you ask?"

She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight.

I think that is very rude?"

After putting her on hold for a minute while I looked into it (laughing my head off) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is "FAT", and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20 a.m. and got into Chicago at 8:33 a.m. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought it!

A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii.

After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"

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