"This week a top general at the Pentagon said the War on Terror could take a 100 years to fight. President Bush was furious about the 100-year prediction and said, 'Stop setting a fixed timetable'" --Conan O'Brien

"A new poll shows that one in five Americans believe they can't trust President Bush. To put it another way, more Americans would be comfortable accepting a ride from Nicole Richie." --David Letterman

"Here's an interesting lawsuit. A judge has ruled that because all paper money feels the same, the government discriminates against the blind. I think that's unfair. The government doesn't discriminate against the blind. Hey, isn't that who led us into Iraq?" --Jay Leno

"They had the Iraqi Commission report and President Bush says he will not make a decision about getting us out of Iraq until 2007. He says he wants to give it some careful thought ... unlike getting us into Iraq." --David Letterman

"President Bush today completed what he called 'a listening tour.' He met and pretended to be listening to various people from the State Department and the Pentagon -- all the people he should have met with before the war" --Jimmy Kimmel

"This is kind of scary. The new head of the House intelligence committee, Congressman Silvestre Reyes, failed a quiz on terrorist organizations. He didn't know the difference between a Sunni and a Shiite, didn't seem to know what Hezbollah was. So apparently, the term 'intelligence committee' is just a suggestion." --Jay Leno

For more humor and comedy visit: comedytake.com