Two dogs were walking down the street.

The one dog says to the other, "Wait here a minute, I'll be right back." He walks across the street and sniffs this fire hydrant for about a minute, then walks back across the street.

The other dog says, "What was that about?"

The dog first dog says, "Oh, I was just checking my messages."

If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills,

* If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
* If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
* If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
* If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,
* If you can overlook when people take things out on you when, through no
* fault of yours, something goes wrong,
* If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
* If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
* If you can conquer tension without medical help,
* If you can relax without liquor,
* If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,

Then you are probably a dog.
 

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